This has been a long offseason for all of us.  Most of the top talents, upon the announcement of the clans and the SPL Opening Ceremonies, have been back on Spark shaking off the rust.   While most sparkers, bright and bushy-eyed, have no trouble getting back to top form, a few may experience difficulties.  Maybe none so more than Dario.  He showed up at TBWA training camp an astounding 94 pounds overweight.  Pictured below, a fit Dario on the left, all dressed up for the TBWA semifinals last SPL.  On the right, we have Renee Zellweger gearing up for Bridget Jones’ Diary 3.

During TBWA mandatory OTA’s, he looked winded, and lethargic.  He was demanding a sub every couple of minutes or so, and his clanmates were unsure if he meant a substitution or a hoagie.  During one drill, Dario had to spawn, pick up the flag, and bring it back to his cap as quickly as possible.  It took him an embarrassing 6 minutes to retrieve, when the clan average was roughly 2 minutes and 10 seconds.

Clanmates were visibly worried, and one Bubble spoke to spl.spark-hq.net under the condition of anonymity.

We all love Clay [DARIO], and we’ve seen pilots have their ups and downs.  This is about as bad as it gets.  We had a team lunch, and he completely ‘ominated’ the buffet line.  I’m worried about him man, if he’s that sluggish, lasers are going to be a big part of his diet this season.

No fines concerning his weight have yet been levied by TBWA, but that could change based on his fitness in the first week of games.